


Anxiety is a weird feeling

by amathequation



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bittersweet, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, kind of?, maybe? - Freeform, this is basically just me venting, virgil feels bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 22:44:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20299162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amathequation/pseuds/amathequation
Summary: Immediately when he opens his eyes, he knows. He knows from the first breath, that this will be a bad day.orVirgil has a bad day, and deals with it.Also the others are there and are good friends.





	Anxiety is a weird feeling

**Author's Note:**

> I had a kinda bad day, so I wrote this.  
If this is might be a self indulgent fic, no one needs to know.

Immediately when he opens his eyes, he knows. He knows from the first breath, that this will be a bad day. There’s not really anything giving it away. Just the feeling - well, not a feeling, because he feels nothing. Like there’s too many thoughts in his mind, but he can’t seem to catch a single one.

He hasn’t felt this in awhile, but of course it couldn’t last forever. Thankfully he knows how to handle it and what to avoid as to not make it any worse. The last thing he wants is to have an anxiety attack in front of the others. Huh, it sure is ironic isn’t it? Anxiety having an anxiety attack. He doesn’t use that name anymore, though. He doesn’t want to be reduced to just _anxiety_, when in reality there’s so much more under the surface, that he’s definitely not going to go into, to not risk the aforementioned anxiety attack.

The others will have to deal with him not being as open, he hopes they will still like him after this. He mentally shoots them an apology as he gets out of bed.  
He hopes that this won’t last as long as it has done before, he knows how bad this can get. 

-

It’s weirdly quiet in the house when he exits his room. He can barely catch that thought before that one, too, slips away.  
No matter how empty he feels, he still needs food, so that’s the next step on his to-do list for days like these. Thankfully he has some cereal bars saved for this exact occasion, they expired last week, but cereal will still be cereal, and there’s no mold on it, to be completely honest he didn’t have the energy to find anything else so expired cereal bars it is. 

The next thought he can distinctively tell from the murmur of the rest is that he needs a distraction, fast. He really doesn’t want to think of _that_ right now, so instead he decides to go and see if there’s something on the tv. Anything will do. 

He turns around as soon as he enters the room. Why did the others have to all be in there at the same time? He just wants to watch a movie for himself or something. Not to be with a whole bunch of other people and have to keep up the facade that everything’s fine.

He walks back to the doorway to look at the others. The thing he wants to do the most right now is to lay down in the sofa and watch a movie with them, maybe even cuddle if they are okay with it. Would the others really judge him that much for that?

He makes a split second decision and walks towards the sofa, almost regretting that exact reaction when they all turn around in sync. The vile taste in his mouth bubbles up, and he can feel the anxiety starting to show, but it disappears when he sees the fond smiles of the others, directed at him. 

When Patton reaches forward and grabs for his hand, he doesn’t hesitate before sitting down next to them. He sits there with them for the rest of the day, watching random movies with Romans head on his shoulder and Patton hugging him and almost sitting in his lap. Even Logan keeps his arm on the back of the sofa. They don’t expect anything of him, he can just be there, existing.

And as the fourth movie starts playing, he feels like everything will turn out just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, this was mostly self indulgent and I want a hug.


End file.
